GRIEF BRIEF 2
AILMENT OF THE SOUL
Grief is an ailment of the soul.
When the body suffers injury or ailment, one must take the time to recover or restore good physical health.
When one’s soul suffers injury or ailment, one must take equal measures to restore health and psychological balance.
The question is often asked, how long it should take to recover from the loss of a loved one.
Length of recovery is based on several aspects.
The length, depth and kinship of the relationship are all aspects that will affect the length of recovery.
One’s psychological health, age and past experiences with loss will also contribute to the speed at which one recovers. (Tracy Renee Lee, Mourning Glory 2014)
If one were skiing down the beautiful slopes of Park City, Utah and took a tumble resulting in broken limbs, one would not jump back up on skis and expect to finish their run. Contrarily, one would evoke the ski patrol to lift them down the slopes to safety and medical care. Surviving a loved one's death is psychologically injurious and should receive equal attention and care in order to achieve one's desired recovery.
The injured skier must engage a multi-step plan to ensure a sound recovery. During recovery, there will mostly likely be a need for multiple physicians specializing in various aspect of the treatment plan to ensure proper resetting of the bones, stabilization of the injury, proper nutrition and pain management. While recovering, one must likewise protect the injury from additional injury. If this injury has occurred previously, one might experience an increased recovery timetable and regime. One might also experience a lifelong reminder of their injury through recurring pain during times of stressful activities and weather changes.
This same narrative applies to psychological injury. When one suffers an injury to their psychological health, they might experience physical pain as well as spiritual pain. Physical pain related to loss often presents itself when the survivor delays their grief experience. Many survivors justify within their minds that if they ignore the pain of grief, it will eventually go away. Nothing could be further from the truth. Physical pain related to grief initially presents itself by way ailments. If a survivor continues their disillusionment, however, these annoying ailments may result in disease. What was initially a tummy ache may now become an ulcer. What was once an annoying headache may in the future result in uncontrollable migraines or severe circulation issues. Unfettered phobias may present themselves, and the survivor may find their life has become a nightmare of compounded issues seemingly unrelated to grief. The fact remains, however, that grief was the underlying cause of their ailments. Delaying their grief experience may now result in extremely complicated grief scenarios and debilitating disease.
As with the skiers broken limbs, there is no magic wand to wave to affect immediate grief recovery. Survivors must develop a multi-step plan to ensure a sound recovery from his/her loss. Of equal importance, the survivor must realize that once recovery has been realized, they like the skier, might also experience lifelong reminders of their loss through recurring pain during times of stressful activities and/or familiar activities.
Loss is a life altering experience. Your life will never be as it once was. The goal is to adjust one's painful anguish into an acceptable scenario of loving memories from which to draw upon during moments of fear, loneliness and self-doubt. Loving memories encourage a healthy reconnection with life, bring into focus the joys of familial bonds and reestablish psychological tranquility.
My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am the owner and Managing Funeral Director at Queen City Funeral Home in Queen City Texas. I am an author, syndicated columnist, and co-founder of Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books and weekly bereavement articles related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award. I deliver powerful messages and motivate audiences toward positive recovery. It is my life's work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.
For additional encouragement, read other articles or watch video “Grief Briefs”, please go to my website at www.MourningCoffee.com