One wonders what joy is received from treating another inhumanely, and even more so, oneself. Couple this with bereavement and you can understand why recovery is such an overwhelming challenge. Daily challenges that we must all overcome can become near impossible when one is bereft, however, when brutality or abuse is in the mix, they become insurmountable.
When one turns on oneself during a loss, he or she may overindulge in work, over or extreme exercise, gambling, tv, hobbies, excessive overeating, or sex. They may minimize their feelings, or avoid emotions or reality through excessive travel, or indulgence in compulsive or harmful behaviors such as alcohol, or prescription or illegal drugs. These behaviors and actions show signs of delaying grief, self-loathing, and self-destruction. Survivors suffering these issues might consider seeing a mental health practitioner sooner rather than later. If you know someone at this juncture, you might try to guide them to seek assistance.
If a survivor is suffering the brutality of a bully, they are not only suffering the loss of a loved one, they are being pushed toward a dangerous cliff of despair. At any other time in life, the survivor may be able to overcome a bully’s inhumane treatment, however, in their compromised emotional state, they may not be able to endure or overcome this insane brutality. If you witness this type of treatment toward a survivor, immediately offer assistance to help them seek out emotional and psychological support, as well as protection from the bully. In my opinion, protection from a bully, especially during bereavement, warrants law enforcement intervention.
The fact remains that the single most important factor in healing from loss is having the support of other people. If you are a kind soul, and you have a friend who is suffering loss, offer yourself to them. Support them in their times of weakness, sadness and loneliness. Help lift their burden by merely listening to them tell their story. Sharing their loss makes their burden of grief easier to carry.
As a professional funeral practitioner, I am profoundly aware of the pain and anguish my clients suffer while trying to recover from a significant loss. It pains my soul when I witness emotional, psychological, or physical brutality under any, but, especially bereft circumstances. I wish I had a wand to wave to make people behave kindly toward each other, to themselves, and especially toward the bereaved, but alas, I do not. People must decide on their own accord to be kind and gracious. Behaving in such a fashion would truly make the world a better place.
My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am the owner and Managing Funeral Director at Queen City Funeral Home in Queen City Texas. I am an author, syndicated columnist, and co-founder of Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books and weekly bereavement articles related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award. I deliver powerful messages and motivate audiences toward positive recovery. It is my life's work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.
For additional encouragement, read other articles or watch video “Grief Briefs,” please go to my website at www.MourningCoffee.com.