Grief manifests itself in many painful facets. There is emotional pain, psychological pain, spiritual pain, the pain of loneliness, the pain of sadness and even physical pain. Physical pain is very often brought on through continued avoidance of the grief experience.
Not everyone suffers the same amount or type of pain once a loved one dies. The pain intensity is usually predicated on the level of attachment the survivor experiences with the deceased. It is nearly impossible, however, to avoid a painful experience at the loss of someone with whom you shared an attachment. Of important note, the deceased need not be a loved one to feel pain at his or her passing.
When I was a young woman, I joined a large corporation in a secretarial capacity. It was not long after I began working there, that one of the district managers died. Although I worked in a different office building, and had only seen this man at regional meetings, I was affected by his loss. My attachment to the company included this man as an integral part of my newly acquired associated network. I pondered my pain at his loss for many years, and truly did not understand it until I entered funeral service. Although, I did not know him very well at all, our work overlapped. I relied on his reports to compose my own. I had an attachment to him because I had a reliance on his work. His passing created a structural defect in the security of my newly acquired income. The stress, though short-lived, was very unnerving.
If grief is left unresolved or ignored, it will eventually surface in one’s life as physical ailments. Grief shifts into medical conditions as an underlying cause. If you find that you are developing unexplained physical or mental conditions, you might discover that if you addressed your grief issues, your other conditions actually resolve themselves. Grief affects the body and soul the same way stress does. If you continue to ignore your grief, other conditions will develop that are avoidable by allowing the pain of grief to present itself and working through it.
I hope that if you have experienced unresolved grief, you will find the courage to face it and overcome the ill effects it creates within your physical and mental health. If you can muster up the courage to do it, you and those around you will benefit immensely. Your health will be better, and your life will be better too.
My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a funeral director, author and freelance writer. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, and mid-week grief briefs related to understanding and coping with grief. It is my life's work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.