The Walking Dead series is about zombies walking around causing all sorts of trouble for people who are just regular human beings. They are in a somewhat decomposed state of being in both mind and soul. They seem to be half-dead, yet half-alive; remaining in a living fog while fighting the finality of death from overtaking them.
When a survivor has lost a loved one, they often express feelings of being dazed. They walk around in a fog, not really in or out of reality. Their minds and hearts feel half engaged with the living and half lost in a swirling pool of grief over the death of their loved one.
Unlike the walking dead, survivors are not doomed in this trap of half living. There is hope. There is recovery. It is important to realize that life will never be as it once was, but with work, a survivor can return to life among the living. They can recover enough to return to work, return to relationships with other loved ones, friends, and family, and they can experience a return to joy and happiness.
The recovery a survivor seeks does not come easily. One must make a conscious decision to recover. They then must engage in the necessary changes in behavior, acceptance, and attitude in their lives to make their recovery possible.
Grief Brief 21
The numbing of our senses allows us to get through the immediate pain of our loss.
As time passes, the numbness will subside.
As this happens, you will realize that pain is its unwelcome replacement.
This evolution marks the onset of your grief experience.
(Mourning Light, Tracy Reneé Lee, 2016)
Support groups are an excellent resource for recovering survivors. They offer integrated resocialization. Resocialization combats the tendencies some survivors experience toward isolation. They provide emotional, physical and spiritual support in a safe and nonjudgmental environment. They allow survivors to explore thoughts and feelings about grief in a way that helps them develop compassion toward themselves rather than self-loathing. Support groups also encourage members to accept help from others. Additionally, they help survivors offer support and understanding toward others. They encourage the development of new coping skills and problem-solving skills and encourage trust-building toward others. They also help survivors feel safe within their homes and other environments. Support groups help survivors regain their quest in life by helping them realize that although life has changed, is not over for them. Once their confidence has been restored, survivors can accomplish amazing things.
The goal of recovery is to feel no longer trapped in a pseudo-existence; to break out and be free of the fog created by grief, to regain one's functioning abilities, and to once again live in harmony with oneself. The process of recovery dictates the acceptance of death and motivates the survivor to heal him or herself. Only upon healing, will a survivor be able to regain control of his or her life.
For some, support groups are not palatable. In this case, a survivor may prefer one on one counseling with a certified grief counselor, or perhaps, prefer to go it alone. This type of survivor might appreciate relying on their inner strength and the support of close friends and relatives. There is nothing wrong with this path of recovery, and if one is strong minded, it is a very viable option. Some survivors treasure their privacy to a degree where group counseling, as well as one on one counseling, might not be agreeable. The private survivor might prefer self-help tactics as found in books written by grief experts and counselors. Whatever one’s needs for assistance, the important thing is to engage in recovery at a reasonable pace, utilizing sound recovery principles, and respecting the environmental needs that are acceptable to the survivor.
The Walking Dead may be trapped in a half way existence between life and death, but the recovering survivor is free to break those chains and regain control of their lives. Their journeys may be long and arduous, but recovery is obtainable.
My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am the owner and Managing Funeral Director at Queen City Funeral Home in Queen City Texas. I am an author, syndicated columnist, and co-founder of Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books and weekly bereavement articles related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award. I deliver powerful messages and motivate audiences toward positive recovery. It is my life's work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.
For additional encouragement, read other articles or watch video “Grief Briefs,” please go to my website at www.MourningCoffee.com.